Surrounding Ourselves with Winners

“Surround yourself with winners” sounds like a given, yet most of us fail to truly live by this throughout our lives. When we are young, many want to be around people who are cool and popular because if these people are, then we can appear the same strictly by association. At this age, it’s symptomatic of our struggle with self-esteem. And when we get older, we may no longer really care about “cool” or “popular” but we still tend to choose people based on surface-level factors such as an affinity to golf. Shared interests aren’t a bad thing, but they seem to take priority over more fundamental factors. It’s like the gearhead who buys a spoiler for his car when his tires are bald.

Why do we tend to not prioritize surrounding ourselves with winners? I think the reason is most people don’t fully grasp how important this is because the results aren’t immediate, apparent, or tangible. Gym rats are obsessed with working out because they can physically see their results. But the effect people have on us doesn’t manifest itself the same way. It flies under the radar working slowly and surreptitiously through repetition like brainwashing and propaganda. However, unlike these two, we can choose to utilize this similar phenomenon to positively impact our lives.  

We can surround ourselves with people for good but also just as equally for bad. The universe is indifferent. It won’t naturally steer us towards good simply because it’s good. This is the reason why most people from a broken family or with bad friends follow the same footsteps. When there’s little or no positive influences in their lives, there’s nothing for them to compare the negatives with. Bad behavior, standards, and values become normalized. They think their actions aren’t necessarily bad, they’re just normal. And for those of them who are self-aware, there’s no potential shame to motivate them to act differently.

On the flip side, when we surround ourselves with winners, we are constantly forced to compare ourselves to a high standard. If we see our buddy Johnny killing it, i.e., working hard, getting good grades, getting a good job, volunteering, giving, contributing, etc., then we think this is normal; this is the standard; this is what people do. And if we are sitting on the couch getting stoned, playing video games while our good friend is out there excelling in life, then we are going to feel like a real loser. We are going to feel like we are being left behind. It’s enough motivation for most of us.

We are affected by the people who we surround ourselves with much the same way as our parents in our lives. The only difference is we have a choice in the former. The more we choose to surround ourselves with winners, the more likely we are to become one as well.