Small Gestures of Kindness

Occasionally I am reminded of how even the smallest gestures of kindness can produce a positive impact on people’s lives. And many of us don’t actively pursue such gestures not because we are bad people, but because we falsely assume that such gestures are so small they will have little to no impact.    

Working in a restaurant I interact with so many people that, at times, such human interactions can become repetitive and sometimes simply transactional. In restaurant parlance we even refer to a customer as a “cover” in tallying the amount of people that came in for the day. So if a hundred people came in, we’d say “we did a hundred covers” or if I waited on thirty customers I would say “I did thirty covers.” It seems like such a non-human term and perhaps that's indicative of how service people oftentimes view their customers. But every night there are great customers—great people—that remind me they are more than just a number.

The other night a lady came in by herself and sat at the bar. The bartender wasn’t engaging her even though it was slow at the time. She seemed so alone and since I didn’t have much going on myself at the time, I went behind the bar and asked her how she was doing. My intention was simply to give a little warmth and I ended up talking to her for a good amount of time. I found out she is from Florida and here in Los Angeles by herself to speak at a work convention. She told me about her kids, which lead to a conversation about responsibilities and we discussed how our lives were so different. This led to her telling me about her sister being a Navy captain whose responsibilities far surpass hers. It was a great conversation.

Then the restaurant started getting busier and I had to be on the floor. I saw her as she was leaving and she looked right at me and said “thank you.” She wasn’t thanking me for the one glass of wine she had, which I didn't even pour. She was thanking me for the warmth and making her feel welcomed. She was in a town she didn’t know; surrounded by people she didn’t know, and I made her not feel like that for a brief moment.

Later that night I thought about how actively I would seek such gestures, in and out of work, if I were more keenly aware of the potential fruit they could bear. I think it’s something I can grow at by simply being more mindful. And I also thought about how we don’t always have to do big things to make a difference.