Moving Forward

When we go through times of feeling mistreated or disrespected, we can choose to respond in one of two ways. We can keep our mouths shut and allow it to continue or we can assert ourselves and try to bring change. And if the latter fails, we can choose to move on with our lives. I found myself in this situation recently at work (as a side note: I wait tables while pursing Pride & Joy. It’s something I was afraid to admit when I first started Pride & Joy but now I realize it’s simply who I am.) After many months of hoping and trying to bring change, I finally knew it was time to leave.

I share this because many people, including myself, struggle with how to respond in these situations. We don’t speak up as much as we should or we don’t speak up at all because we are afraid of what they may think and what they may do. Or we don’t remove ourselves from the situation because we are afraid of what will lie ahead. We are essentially afraid of the uncertainty that will ensue. Moreover, many of us, particularly young people, don’t have the necessary courage to take action or we second-guess ourselves. We second-guess what we already intuitively know what is right and what is wrong. For whatever reason, many of us sadly allow the abuse to continue.

We can not control what people think of us or how people treat us. Some people are ignorant and some are just scumbags. But what we can control are our own actions, i.e., living in accordance with our values. If we can shift the focus from “them” to “us,” then we are in the position of power. When we focus on ourselves by constantly trying to improve our lives—skills, confidence, courage, faith, perseverance, etc.—we gain power and freedom. We believe that no matter what life throws at us, we can handle whatever that is. And the best revenge is simply doing better.